A lot of people use the term “friend zone” when they are bummed their romantic interest doesn’t return their feelings. But this is a misuse of the phrase.
You can friend zone someone if they only see you as a friend, with no romantic or sexual feelings for you. Evaluate your relationship and try these tips to break free:
Don’t Overshare
Oversharing is an easy way to put someone in the friend zone. If you share too many stories or talk too much, they will begin to assume that you want more than friendship. This is especially true if you share a lot of intimate details or discuss your past relationships.
It is also important to be efficient with your words. Many oversharers babble and use a lot of unnecessary words in conversations. Try to minimize your time talking and learn new words that are more efficient for explaining ideas or telling a story.
Some people overshare as a form of fake vulnerability or to gain sympathy. For example, they may tell a new person a lot of personal information about their parents in an attempt to fast-track the relationship.
Keeping a log of when you tend to overshare can help you find patterns that are causing your behavior. This can help you stop the habit once and for all.
Don’t Let It Get to You
If your friend is showing signs that he wants more than just a platonic relationship with you it’s important not to let it get to you. It can be hard to resist the pressure to play into their attention but if you want them in your life in a non-romantic way you should let them know that. You can do this by dropping little hints, hanging out in groups and not making overtures that could be seen as romantic.
If you do this he will eventually get the message that you don’t have romantic feelings for him. But you must be honest and determined in how you do this.
If you are not a natural flirt you may have to resort to indirect methods of putting him in the friend zone such as telling him how much you like him as a brother. Directness is best because beating around the bush or hinting can cloud the issue and confuse matters more.
Don’t Try to Change Their Mind
Despite what chick flicks may make you believe, a person in the friend zone does not owe you anything. Whether it’s a casual acquaintance, someone you met in college, or even your best friend who just got dumped, they don’t have to give you any more than friendship. In fact, giving them a chance to be your friend can lead to more complications.
It’s important to be honest when it comes to how you feel and not to give them false hope. This is why it’s often better to use the friend zone as a rejection than to lead them on and ultimately get hurt in the process.
If you’re unsure about how to approach someone about your feelings, a counselor can help. They can teach you how to communicate effectively, set healthy boundaries, and forge meaningful relationships. They can also help you determine if the person you’re interested in is right for you. You can find a licensed therapist online by visiting a website like BetterHelp.
Don’t Let It Ruin Your Relationship
We all want to believe that we can turn a casual friendship into something romantic, but it’s not always easy. Sometimes, we give our crush mixed signals, and they pick up on them. This can lead to miscommunication and misunderstandings, which can put us in the friend zone.
Another sign that you may be in the friend zone is if they see you as more than just a friend. If you find that they want to air their dirty laundry with you or discuss their most embarrassing challenges, this is a clear indication that they are not interested in forming a romantic connection with you.
Being straightforward and maybe even blunt is often the best way to let someone know you are not interested in anything more than a friendship. If you can’t say it in person, a quick text message can do the trick. Trying to beat around the bush and drop subtle hints will only confuse the issue further.
