Pop culture often confuses love and infatuation. If you have a strong feeling of attraction, obsession, and fixation on someone you just met, you are probably infatuated with them.
Getting swept up by someone can lead to overanalyzing their behavior and forgetting about your own needs. Here are the infatuation signs to look out for: 1. You Think They Are Perfect.
1. You See and Expect Perfection
When you’re infatuated with someone, you see them as the perfect partner. You think they’re flawless, and you imagine a beautiful future with them. If your crush looks at another person or doesn’t text you back immediately, you become enraged and fear they’re rejecting you.
This kind of thinking is a clear sign that you’re infatuated, not in love. You’re unable to look past their flaws and red flags.
Infatuation typically develops quickly after meeting someone, and it can last a few weeks or a few months in some relationships. But it shouldn’t be confused with love, which requires you to really get to know the person and accept their flaws. It also involves a deep sense of intimacy that stretches beyond feelings and into action and communication.
2. You Have Persistent and Intrusive Thoughts
Unwanted intrusive thoughts often appear out of nowhere and cause distress. They may contain disturbing images, doubts about important decisions, fears of losing control or a sense of being trapped. For example, a cancer patient might have intrusive thoughts about their diagnosis or prognosis.
Usually, intrusive thoughts don’t require intervention or treatment. However, if they do and become disruptive to your daily life, you might benefit from seeing a mental health professional for help.
If you notice that a particular thought keeps coming back, don’t let it get to you. Recognize that it is just a thought, and that your brain generates thousands of them every day. Eventually, it will pass. Infatuation is not synonymous with love, and it takes time to understand your feelings so that you can make healthy choices.
3. You Drop Everything for Them
When you start dropping everything for them, this is a clear sign that you’re infatuated. Infatuation is based on sexual attraction and an imagined fantasy, while love is a more long-term commitment rooted in respect and care.
You don’t need to be a relationship expert to know that this isn’t healthy. When you put everything on the line for them, it can be difficult to keep a balance in your life. You may even feel that you can’t function without them.
Infatuation tends to form quickly after meeting someone, says licensed mental health counselor Grace Suh. But, she notes that it’s important to separate this feeling from true love. If you do, you can avoid the many common pitfalls of infatuation relationships. You can also learn to be more patient with yourself in the process.
4. You Become Jealous and Possessive
If you become jealous or possessive about someone you’re infatuated with, it’s important to assess your feelings. This type of behavior is typically a sign of infatuation and not true love.
While infatuation is often a positive thing, it can also be dangerous. It can lead to toxic relationships if it’s not tempered with honesty and reality.
Infatuation may cause you to view the person as a perfect individual with no flaws. This can lead you to ignore red flags and create a fantasy about them that isn’t realistic. If this is happening to you, it’s a good idea to seek a therapist. They can help you learn healthy ways to manage your emotions and separate infatuation from true love. They can also teach you how to recognize infatuation signs and decode them.
5. You Feel Tired and Alone
While love can certainly enrapture you, it should never make you sever all other ties in your life. If you find that you’re sacrificing your other relationships or work for your crush, it’s a clear sign that you’re infatuated and not in love.
Infatuation tends to be based more on physical attraction and fantasizing about someone than it is on real intimacy, says Fogel Mersy. It can also be a quick feeling that comes and goes, as opposed to true love, which can take more time to develop. Infatuation can also cause you to overlook red flags, while true love can be more tolerant and forgiving. Love is also often accompanied by a sense of peace and contentment, whereas infatuation may lead to anxiety or jealousy.
