Swedes value their independence, even in a relationship. They are not expecting chivalry from their men and can be very wary of being too close.
So, when dating a Swedish man it’s best to go first and make the first move! And don’t be afraid to flirt, but remember that they need liquid confidence to open up and express themselves.
1. Don’t be afraid to ask him out
Once you have his attention, a Swedish guy will be impressed if you take him out somewhere special and not just for a coffee or a walk in the park. Especially if you can show that you are interested in his hobbies like hiking or snus, he will be hooked.
He might invite you to have a fika together. This is a great way to know if he is interested in you or not. But don’t expect it to be a date. It is just a way to socialize with friends or workmates.
It’s also good to remember that Swedes are all about equality, and this includes dating. It is rare for one person to pay for the other, so don’t assume that he will offer to do this.
2. Make the first move
Swedish men are often hesitant to make the first move. They may not tell you they are into you right away or give you a kiss on the cheek instead of a peck on the lips as many people in Western culture do.
If he asks you to meet for coffee at the end of your meeting, it can be a good sign that he is interested in dating you. But don’t call it a date, it’s more like a fika.
You should always look your best on a date with a Swedish woman. She might not be able to put it into words, but she will appreciate your effort. She is also likely a feminist, so be careful not to exhibit any form of misogyny.
3. Be polite
In Sweden, being polite is considered a virtue. This is reflected in the way they treat their friends and loved ones. Be sure to use direct and polite language when talking to them. This will garner more responses than insinuations or indirect wording.
In addition to being polite, Swedish people value honesty. They don’t sugarcoat things or play games. This is especially true in their dating life.
For example, if you invite your Swedish date out for a fika and an outdoor walk, don’t expect him to show up at the exact time he says he will. Tardiness is a major turnoff. Also, Swedish men do not believe in random gift-giving. They usually reserve gifts for special occasions, such as birthdays or Christmas. They are also not into chivalry and will never hold doors for you.
4. Don’t rush to kiss him
Sweden does romance and relationships a little differently than the rest of Europe. They take it slow and casual until they are sure that they want to commit long term.
They are not prone to grand gestures or public displays of affection, but they will show you that they care. They will open doors for you, pick up the check, and treat you with a kind of chivalry that is a perfect blend of gender equality and traditional values.
However, they also value their independence. They will not appreciate you flirting with other men or showing a lot of PDA once they have called your relationship exclusive. They are observant and will size you up quickly. They will be able to tell if you are just playing around.
5. Don’t expect him to pay for you
Swedes believe in equality and would never expect a man to pay for them. They would probably think it’s odd if you slammed your credit card down before them even before they had the chance to take theirs out!
They would also be surprised if you showed up at their house with a gift without them having given you one first. Gift giving is very much a two way street for Swedish men, so you need to make sure that you are doing the same if you want your relationship with him to progress!
If you are past the fika stage and are spending your weekends together hiking and taking walks, then it’s likely that you are in a serious relationship. However, it’s not uncommon for couples in Sweden to have friends with benefits as well!